Attachment in adults

Introduction

The Theory of Attachment in psychology, examines the emotional connection between adults in relationships, from friendships to romantic partners, starting with the emotional bond that began as infants with connection to their caregivers[1].

The attachment theory, was initially studied in the 20th century to associate infant behaviors to the attachment they had to their caregivers. The working models of children found in John Bowlby's attachment theory create a pattern of interaction that is likely to continue influencing adult relationships.[2]

The behaviors of relationships connected to the theory are categorized into four attachment styles: secure, anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. Studies and research have provided evidence of how these behavioral patterns develop, what affect they have on relationships, and how they are measured.

Background

Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby founded the modern-day attachment theory on studies of children to their caregivers. Children and caregivers remained the primary focus of attachment theory for many years but, in the 1980's, Sue Johnson[3] began using attachment theory in adult therapy settings. Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver continued to conduct research through analyzing adult relationships.[4][5][6] Hazan and Shaver noticed that interactions between adults were similar to interactions between children and caregivers. Adults feel comforted when their attachment figures are present, but feel more anxious, and/or lonely, when their attachment figures are absent. Romantic relationships, for example, serve as a secure base that help people face the surprises, opportunities, and challenges life presents. Similarities such as these led Hazan and Shaver to extend attachment theory to adult relationships.

Relationships between adults also differ in some ways from relationships between children and caregivers.[7] These two kinds of relationships are not identical, but the core principles of attachment theory apply to both child-caregiver relationships, and adult relationships.

Attachment styles

Adult attachment has connected the theory to attachment styles in order to further understand behaviors, such as trust and emotional stability. Adults are described as generally relating to four attachment styles:[8]

  • Secure
  • Anxious-preoccupied
  • Dismissive-avoidant
  • Fearful-avoidant

These attachment styles in adults can be seen to earlier connect to children's behaviors. The descriptions of adult attachment styles offered below are based on the relationship questionnaire devised by Bartholomew and Horowitz[9] and on a review of studies by Pietromonaco and Barrett.[10] Style and quality of attachment relationships can directly correlate with life satisfaction in adults.[11] Average relationship duration can also be linked to the style of the relationship participants.[12]

Secure Attachment

Main article: Secure attachment

Secure attachment is one of the four primary attachment styles that most often correlates with a positive view of yourself and your relationship with others. [13][14]. People that have secure attachment style are often associated with high self-esteem, and have an easier time forming healthy relationships with others[15]. Those with secure attachment often manage conflict without feeling overwhelmed and are not bothered by the concepts of closeness and independence.

This begins at childhood, signaling a relationship between parents and caregivers that reflects feeling loved and cared for[16]. Children who are secure in relationships are often confident when interacting with others. It is typically seen that infants and children with this form of attachment felt safe and secure to their caregivers, and were able to communicate through their emotions[17]. These behaviors usually continue into adulthood and allows these adults to form long term relationships without the fear of being abandoned[18].

Many adults who have a secure attachment style have an easier time trusting in themselves and their relationships. They do not feel the need for constant reassurance, so feeling close or distant in others does not have a large impact[19]. Someone who demonstrates the qualities of secure attachment style is more open to discuss previous relationships and do not have a hard time opening up[20].

In connection to romantic relationships, many securely attached individuals see happiness and trust in their relationships, and have an easier time supporting their partners despite their faults. Many of these relationships last longer and secure lovers feel strong that romantic love will not fade[21]

Even though people with secure attachment still have relationship challenges, they have a much more positive take on these issues and often take responsibility for their faults. Conflict is not something they want to engage with, so they try to find a solution.

Anxious-preoccupied

Main article: anxious-preoccupied attachment

Anxious Preoccupied Attachment (sometimes known as anxious or anxious-ambvialent) is a form of attachment where an individuals view themselves negatively, and feels unsure about trusting others[22]. This attachment style creates a sense of gaining validation through their relationships as a from of self-acceptance. These individuals seek intimacy but fear that others do not be with them[23].

This style was created in childhood likely because the caregivers availability to the infant is sporadic as they are sometimes emotionally unavailable[24]. Because of this, the infant seemed reassurance in order for their caregiver to provide ability. This attachment during infancy is present because the caregiver is sometimes present and other times not, so the caregivers behavior becomes inconsistent[25]. This continues into adulthood as individuals will seek reassurance and crave intimacy, but worry about others meeting their needs, emotionally. These individuals often find it hard to feel loved by their partners, while they also have a hard time expressing their love for others[26].

Individuals with anxious attachment seek approval by others regarding the security of the relationship. Delayed communication leads to worry by these individuals and may cause them to feel rejected. Even in stable relationships, many anxious attachment individuals worry about the state of the relationship.

Dismissive-avoidant

Dismissive-avoidant attachment is one of the main attachment styles, and if often connected with a positive self-view, but negative view of others. Individuals with this attachment style often avoid closeness and intimacy with others[27]. Dismissive avoidance typically suppress their emotions, and prioritize their personal independence.

Some of the characteristics of individuals who are dismissive-avoidant are emotionally distant, independence over closeness, difficulty sharing their emotions, providing mixed signals, and pushing away issues. By doing these things, these individuals hope to avoid confrontation with others and they put themselves first, and pull away when any issues arise.

This form as children when the infants caregivers are dismissive to the baby, and the child does not feel comfort. Due to this, the child slowly learns to trust themselves over their caregiver. This continues into adulthood, as these individuals pull away from others in order to control these emotions[27].

Individuals with dismissive-avoidant style continually prefer to have emotional distance. Many have a hard time opening up to romantic partners, and when things start to feel real, they pull away. This can can cause stress for the other person because they may not understand why this distance is being created[28].

Fearful-avoidant

Fearful avoidant attachment (also known as Disorganized Attachment) is the least common the main attachment styles. Individuals with this attachment style are associated with a negative self-view, as well as a negative view of others[29]. They seek close relationships, but are scared of them, so it almost feels like a personal battle within yourself[30].

This attachment style develops through trauma as infants and children, which causes these individuals to have a difficult time forming relationships. these children become withdrawn socially and do not easily trust others[31]. This continues into adulthood because they are often pushing and pulling other people. These individuals sometimes seek closeness, but other times crave distance due to fear of abandonment[32].

Many people with this attachment style may stay in the dating stage of romantic relationships as it takes longer to trust others. These individuals may shut down if the relationship becomes too serious, out of self protection. Many get nervous when they are in a stable relationship due to prior trauma and experiences[33].

Working models

Bowlby observed that children learn from their interactions with caregivers. Throughout many interactions, children form expectations about the accessibility and helpfulness of their caregivers. These expectations reflect children's thoughts about themselves and their caregivers:

Confidence that an attachment figure is, apart from being accessible, likely to be responsive can be seen to turn on at least two variables: (a) whether or not the attachment figure is judged to be the sort of person who generally responds to calls for support and protection; (b) whether or not the self is judged to be the sort of person towards whom anyone, and the attachment figure, in particular, is likely to respond in a helpful way. Logically, these variables are independent. In practice, they are apt to be confounded. As a result, the model of the attachment figure and the model of the self are likely to develop to be complementary and mutually confirming. (Bowlby, 1973, p. 238)[34]

Children's thoughts about their caregivers, together with thoughts about how deserving they are of good care from their caregivers, form working models of attachment. Working models help guide behavior by allowing children to anticipate and plan for caregiver responses. Bowlby theorized that once formed, working models remain relatively stable. Children usually interpret experiences in the light of their working models, rather than change their working models to fit new experiences. However, when experiences cannot be interpreted in the light of their working models children may then modify their working models.

Organization of working models

Bartholomew and Horowitz have proposed that working models consist of two parts.[9] One part deals with thoughts about the self and the other deals with thoughts about others. They further propose that a person's thoughts about themselves are either generally positive or generally negative. The same applies to a person's thoughts about others. To test these proposals, Bartholomew and Horowitz have looked at the relationship between attachment styles, self-esteem, and sociability. The diagram below shows the relationships they observed:

Security-based strategy of affect regulation
Self-esteem
(thoughts about self)
Positive Negative
Sociability
(thoughts about others) 		Positive Secure Anxious-preoccupied
Negative Dismissive-avoidant Fearful-avoidant

The secure and dismissive attachment styles are associated with higher self-esteem compared with the anxious and fearful attachment styles. This corresponds to the distinction between positive and negative thoughts about the self in working models. The secure and anxious attachment styles are associated with higher sociability than the dismissive or fearful attachment styles. This corresponds to the distinction between positive and negative thoughts about others in working models. These results suggested working models indeed contain two distinct domains—thoughts about self and thoughts about others—and that each domain can be characterized as generally positive or generally negative.

Stability of working models

Investigators study the stability of working models by looking at the stability of attachment styles. Attachment styles reflect the thoughts and expectations that constitute working models. Changes in attachment styles, therefore, indicate changes in working models.

Around 70–80% of people experience no significant changes in attachment styles over time.[35][36][37][38][39] The fact that attachment styles do not change for a majority of people indicates working models are relatively stable. Yet, around 20–30% of people do experience changes in attachment styles. These changes can occur over periods of weeks or months. The number of people who experience changes in attachment styles, and the short periods over which the changes occur, suggest working models are not rigid personality traits.

Why attachment styles change is not well understood. Waters, Weinfield and Hamilton propose that negative life experiences often cause changes in attachment styles.[40] Their proposal is supported by evidence that people who experience negative life events also tend to experience changes in attachment styles.[36][41][42] Davila, Karney, and Bradbury have identified four sets of factors that might cause changes in attachment styles: (a) situational events and circumstances, (b) changes in relational schemas, (c) personality variables, and (d) combinations of personality variables and situational events.[43] They conducted a study to see which set of factors best explained changes in attachment styles. The study found that all four sets of factors cause changes in attachment styles. Changes in attachment styles are complex and depend on multiple factors.

Relationship outcomes

Adult relationships vary in their outcomes. The participants of some relationships express more satisfaction than the participants of other relationships, and there is a question of whether attachment influences the satisfaction and duration of relationships.

Satisfaction

Several studies have linked attachment styles to relationship satisfaction. Adults who have a secure attachment style usually express greater satisfaction with their relationships. Adults with insecure (anxious or avoidant) attachment styles tend to have lower satisfaction and commitment within their relationships.[44][45][46][47][48][49][50][51][52]

Although the link between attachment styles and marital satisfaction has been firmly established, the mechanisms by which attachment styles influence marital satisfaction remain poorly understood. One mechanism may be communication. Secure attachment styles may lead to more constructive communication and more intimate self-disclosures, which in turn increase relationship satisfaction.[45][53] Other mechanisms by which attachment styles may influence relationship satisfaction include emotional expressiveness,[54][55] strategies for coping with conflict,[49] and perceived support from partners.[50][56] Further studies are needed to better understand how attachment styles influence relationship satisfaction.

Duration

Some studies suggest that adults with a secure attachment style have longer-lasting relationships.[57][58][12] This may be partly due to commitment. Adults with a secure attachment style tend to express more commitment to their relationships. Adults with a secure attachment style also tend to be more satisfied with their relationships, which may encourage them to stay in their relationships longer. However, having a secure attachment style is by no means a guarantee of long-lasting relationships. Relationship participants with anxious and avoidant attachment styles have been linked to a decreased level of commitment.[12]

Nor are secure attachment styles the only attachment styles associated with stable relationships. Adults with the anxious–preoccupied attachment style often find themselves in long-lasting, but unhappy, relationships.[59][60] Anxious–preoccupied attachment styles often involve anxiety about being abandoned and doubts about one's worth in a relationship. These kinds of feelings and thoughts may lead people to stay in unhappy relationships.

Conclusion

Overall, the attachment theory has influenced many relationships and provided a better understanding to individuals behavior. From infancy and childhood, relationships with caregivers influence the way we interact with people as we become adults. Through the four main attachment styles, secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, it can provide context to how these behaviors develop throughout our childhood into adulthood. These styles show how our relationships are affected through trust with others, closeness and distance, and dealing with conflict. Even though most of these patterns remain the same throughout time, we are able to change some behaviors and shift to a different attachment style. When we understand the attachment theory and its connection to attachment styles, it can promote healthier and happier relationships with others, whether they are friendships or with romantic partners.

See also

References

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